Nowadays, we moms seem to have so many things to deal with. Whether working or staying at home, we all wish to learn ways to make things easier so we can at least get our much-deserved time for ourselves.
Aside from things and the days “off” that we get, what can be given to us moms that will address our deeper needs?
It is widely recognized that motherhood has progressively changed in the last generation. However, it seems that mom guilt is a lingering disease that harasses moms universally.
Mom guilt, the anxiety that mothers get when we feel like we are falling short of the society’s expectations from us, has become more prevalent and intensified now that there is a pressure to have a career, family, and social life all at the same time. Moms now are working more while also spending more time with our children, which give us little rest and more stress.
In the previous generations, the level of support for moms has dwindled. Ironically, it is what we desperately need – a community that will support us despite our differences in parenting decisions.
Here are some ways we can support our fellow moms, according to Wellness Mama:
1. Know that different opinions don’t equate to judgment
Moms receive a lot of advice, most of them unsolicited. Everyone has an opinion about everything. In social media, debates on the most trivial parenting decision happen on a wider extent than ever before. Be mindful therefore not to take it personally when someone disagrees with your opinion on a certain issue. Disagreeing doesn’t mean mom shaming. Having a different opinion doesn’t indicate that the other mom is judging your life and capabilities as a mother.
2. Manage disagreements through respectful conversations
Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, learn to deal with it respectfully. We can be kind to people even if we disagree with them. Have the courage to tell the other person that you disagree with him/her, but that you are open to discuss his opinions.
3. Find your common ground and talk about it
Not all moms are created equal, but we all share one vocation and that is motherhood. No matter the differences, moms become alike when it comes to worrying about our children, families, careers, and how we measure up to the Best Mom title. All moms share a feeling of insecurity and accomplish a lot of “hidden” works that often go unrecognized. So never miss an opportunity to compliment a mother and tell her what you admire about her. It will only take a second to make a mother feel good about herself.
4. Build a connection with the community
Make time to build a connection with your neighbors. Unlike in the old days, thoughts and feelings are now exchanged in social media. Creating an authentic connection with your community will require intentional cultivation but it will all be worth it.
5. Have each other’s backs
Look for opportunities to replace mom guilt with support and affirmation. Step out of your comfort zone and learn from others. Most importantly, keep it real. It’s something moms all over the world will appreciate.